MY BIG C (PART 3)

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful

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Assalamualaikum and Hi everyone! I was offline from my blogging world for a very long time indeed. I guess I was preoccupied with the drama, Nur 2 (I am even hearing the OST from the drama while typing this, hahahha). It would be nice to have a blog post about the lessons I’ve learned from such a good drama. But we save that for another day. If you are wondering what am I gonna write in this part 3 of a compilation of my life story as a cyst patient, I will sum up a bit.

I was diagnosed with a cyst back in 2017. It was attached to my left ovary. The 12 x 10 x 10 cm “Giant” was removed in the same year. It came back somehow bringing another friend, which makes it two. I took some medicine and only one is left. My current situation? Only Allah knows. Please read the other two parts (just slide below this post) as it will ease you to understand the lessons learnt (and still learning) that I would like to highlight with you today.

Lesson number 1 : Allah’s plan and timing is THE BEST EVER!! 

Allah is The All Knowing. Allah knew that I will be handling a very important project which is the Geoscience Industrial Week 2017. While I was busy with the project and other stuff the news about my disease came. Well, a normal human being would look at the situation in 2 different ways, negatively or positively. I chose the latter. My mind was so busy thinking of ways to earn money for the project, thus I rarely thought about what is in my body or about the dreading surgery ahead. The timing of the surgery and the project was so “Cun” (nice). Right after the hustle and bustle of handling the project, I was admitted into the hospital a few days later. I was happy and glad because laying in bed all day long was the much awaited rest. On the day of the surgery again came Allah’s Great Plan. I was sick. The surgery had to be postponed. I was admitted from the hospital and went straight back to UM. I was able to join my other project back in college. Yayy. In May, the surgery was finally completed. I was given about 3 weeks of  sick leave and nicely planned by Allah, I have an addition of 2 weeks because my study week started after that. From Allah’s Great Plans (there’s more, but I will keep it to myself :)), I feel loved by Him. Indeed, He is The Most Merciful and The Most Loving.

Lesson number 2: Sharing is Lightening!!

If you know me long enough, I am the type of person who can easily share her life stories with others (even to strangers). Well, not all stories of course. Remember when I received the news that my cyst came back and I was told by the doctor that this cyst dilemma will haunt me for a very long time. Receiving that unpleasant news at first was hard. I shamelessly cried in front of the hospital while waiting for my grab car. I look horrendous. In the same day, I crack the news to my friends back at my Geology Department. Guess what? I felt- lighten. The person who received the news felt bad though. As if I was some sort of transmitting bad energy to them. Lolll. Sorry… The Lightening process continued as I shared my worries and burden from one person to the other. In the end, I am worry-less and the cyst dilemma is bearable. To add on, I was sharing my cyst story with my friend, when her room mate admitted that she too was diagnosed with a cyst. You see I accidentally met a cyst-er (sister). Pun intended.

Lesson number 3: Love your body PLEASE!!

I realized this while taking my medicine, “No medicine can cure you, If you do not change your life style at all”. There’s no point eating  medicine for diabetes if you gulped down Teh Tarik Kaw every day. Easier said than done. I admit that it was hard to change my eating habits from taking vegetables regularly to eat them every single day. It was stressful because I only like the vegetables that my mom cook. It was hard not to pick chicken for lunch (as it was cheaper), and go with fish. It was hard to wake up and jog in the evening as watching K-Drama on my comfy bed sounds like a more tempting idea. It was hard to reduce my Maggi Mee consumption from once a week to once a month as I am very frugal one. But then I realized that Allah had given my body in a very good condition when I was born, and ain’t it rude and ungrateful to return it back to Him in a bad condition. Imagine your friend borrowed your car for a day. The ungrateful friends of yours did not even bother to fill your car tank with oil like when they received your car. To make it worse, your car looks like it just came out of wilderness, filled with scratches and dirt. Well, I am glad that is not my car. So remember this every time you feel lazy to take care of your body.

What I decided to change after the surgery was my lifestyle. I started to jog at least once a week. Previously I despised jogging but since I joined the kayak team, I am forced to jog so that I have enough stamina later for the kayak competition. Nowadays, I jog to keep fit and mainly to remove wind from my gassy body.  The whole pack of  Maggi Mee was harder to finish now. Chicken? Well it would be nice if GSC stop showing McDonald’s Chicken Ad. Anyway at home, fish tastes a lot better when it is free. I admit that there were days that I just gave up and start being lazy but the moment I am feeling unwell the good life style drill came back.

 

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Trying to do a selfie while kayaking be like….

Lesson number 4: Find Hikmah and Humor

In life, whatever that  we face be it a good thing or a bad thing search for the hikmah or make some reflections out of it. The trials in life will be harder as we get older. What you faced as a toddler will not be the same as when you have become a mother or a father. Always remember that…

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By Sakinah Saptu

My next advice is face all the challenges in life with HUMOR. When doctors gave me advice to get married early as it is one of the solutions, I was like that it such a one of a kind advice (hahahahahah). Next, always remember that Allah loves you for all the challenges that He sent is to make you a better person. Better than yesterday. I share with you something that I would do every time life feels unbearable. I would read this surah in my solah with full conviction.

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Pay attention to ayah 5 and 6. Fainnamaal usri yusra. Inna maal usri yusraa.

“Then indeed with every difficulty there is ease, indeed with every difficulty there is ease”.

Allah is counselling us that everything will be OK, not once but twice.

So these are the reflections that I managed to share with all of you. Alhamdulillah for the disease helped me to make such reflections. I am a different person than before. I hope my sharing leave an impact to you and I pray that may Allah bless us with a healthy body and mind and that we will always be grateful for them and use them to please Him. Amin.  Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

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MY BIG C (PART 2)

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful

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Hello, Stranger’s blood. 

I woke up 2 hours later, feeling weak, heavy and cold. The first question I asked to the doctor was, “Do I still have my left ovary?” . She said…..

Assalamualaikum and Hi everyone! Yup here was where I stopped during my last blog post. Sorry to have kept you waiting. There were many things that happened since the last time I wrote. Let us take a moment and pray for the victims and their families that were involved in the inhumane attack at 2 mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, Al-Fatihah. May Allah grant them the highest ranks in Jannah, Amin.

For those who did not read yet Big C (Part 1), please do so (the blog post can be found beneath this one), so that you can understand what actually happened when I woke up 2 hours later. Let’s proceed. I asked the doctor what happened with my left ovary as I was extremely worried that it might be removed. I knew there were possibilities as it happened to some patients with the disease. Alhamdulillah, mine was not removed. (I made some reflections about this in the Part 3 of this story. Do read them later!)

I was brought back to the normal ward where both of my parents were anxiously waiting. Sincerely, I can’t totally remember everything while I was hospitalized, but some  memories remained intact till today. One was during Zuhur prayer that afternoon after the operation. My first ever praying while laying in bed. My mom was the one who perform wudu’ for me by using a spray. It was such a memorable scene. Meeting Allah in my most weakest condition ever and being so grateful that the operation ended well. I received some visitors, friends (Geology and non-geology friends and some seniors) and families, bringing food and love. I left the hospital the next day on a wheelchair as I am not able to walk properly yet. I prayed while sitting on a chair for 1 whole week because I felt kinda heavy and weak because of the side effect from the anaesthetic. The stitching of my surgical wound was removed a few weeks after the operation. That was the most painful thing ever!!!! She was like scrubbing my wound like it is the back of a wok (Not exactly like that lah). I was banned from eating certain food after the operation. In Malay we call it “Berpantang”. That was so challenging. I was given 2 weeks break and nicely planned by Allah the break was followed with the study week. I returned back to UM for my examination after that.

Fast forward, a year later, exactly in the month of September 2018, I was scheduled for a check up at the Gynae Clinic, PPUM. I made the appointment a few months back. I made it because I was curious. Supposedly, I should be doing my check up, regularly but I was so busy and lazy. The appointment was on my first day back in UM for my last semester. Did I received good news? Nope. The doctor found 2 more cysts, one on my left ovary and another one on my right ovary. Roughly about 3 cm in diameter. Hearing that was nothing compared to when the doctor told me that, Endometriosis is a disease that will come back again and again until my period stopped (menopause). I read about these before but only then that I actually believed it. My doctor suggested that I took this medicine called Visanne. Basically it helps to reduce the size of the cyst. It is important for me because if my cyst grows to more than 5 cm, I will have to undergo another operation and this is not a good thing because my last surgery was only a year ago. Receiving the news was hard. I admit that I cried shamelessly outside the hospital while waiting for my Grab to arrive. Luckily, I went to the clinic alone.

I took Visanne for 2 months only instead of 3 months. I am glad though because it was super expensive (RM 250 per month). I am grateful for the scholarship money that I’ve received. My parents offered to pay for it, but for me as long as I am able to pay for it, I will pay for it. Visanne totally gave some unwanted side effects. Hello Pimples! haahhaahha. I slept in class almost all the time especially those at noon. Not sure if it’s because of the medicine but I am gonna blame it though. I gain some weight. But the worst one was the bad migraine for a week. I rarely had migraine so this one was totally related to the medicine as once I stopped consuming it, the migraine stopped immediately.

I went for my check up later and Alhamdulillah one cyst was gone and only one was left and the size was reduced to 1 cm. Thank you, Visanne!! The doctor told me that it was a rare case to get migraine while consuming Visanne. Every time I met the doctors, they always suggested that I should get married and have kids (lots of them)-because I won’t be having my period if I am pregnant, thus the cyst wouldn’t grow big. Lolllll. But I haven’t met with my Mr.Right yet. One day, InsyaAllah.

As for now, I am still monitoring my cyst and will be doing it for many years ahead, InsyaAllah. I hope you girls out there can learn from my life experience. I hope you are more aware and conscious about your body. In my next post, I will share my deep reflections about this and for me, that was the most important part of the story: The Message that Allah wants me to learn. Sharing my life stories was not easy. I am still doubting whether I should publish it or not. But I believed that, it will help someone out there, InsyaAllah.  Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

 

 

 

My Big C (PART 1)

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful

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Can’t forget the Hokkaido Cheese Tart that she brought, hehe.

Assalamualaikum and Hi everyone! Phew it’s been so long since my last blog post. Truthfully, I was contemplating a lot whether to write and most importantly to share this with you guys or not. I even asked the opinion of one of my friend and she said I should, as it is good to create awareness for women out there. At the same time I would like to share with you how AMAZIIIIING Allah’s timings are when all of this happened to me.

It was on 21st February 2017. I am just bad at memorizing dates, but this one had been carved in my brain forever. I went to UM Student Clinic to get some medicine for my gastric pain. I came out from the clinic with a worrying diagnose from the doctor instead. She checked my body and found a rather big mass below my stomach. Roughly about 12.6 cm x 10.6 cm x 9.6 cm (Go get a ruler to see how big it was). She booked an appointment with the Gynaecology Clinic at PPUM for me for a session in the afternoon. The previous doctor made a rather accurate measurement as it gave the same reading when I was scanned with the ultrasound machine.

She said it is a cyst. Yup the Big C is referring to the “Big Cyst” (not C for cancer, and I should be thankful). To be exact it’s Endometriosis. Endometriosis affects an estimated 1 in 10 women during their reproductive years (ie. usually between the ages of 15 to 49), which is approximately 176 million women in the world. Read here for more information (http://obgyn.ucla.edu/endometriosis). In a simpler term there is something that grows at my left ovary. The size increases every time I’m having my period. It can burst but before that happened I must undergoes surgery. For you girls reading this (or even if you are a guy, I am sure you have a female in your family) some of the symptoms usually connected to this disease are painful periods (alhamdulillah mine are tolerable), pain with bowel movements or urination during period, excessive bleeding during period, stomach looks like a pregnant lady and  for me in the morning I would rush to go to the toilet like Usian Bolt as the cyst probably squashed my urinary bladder. So I hope that if you noticed such symptoms do not assumed that it is a normal thing like what I did. In my case I knew about the cyst accidentally unlike some people who faced extreme pain and when the cyst was already huge in size.

Receiving the news was hard. I am scared. My parents were not in Kl. I went to the hospital with my friend. I can still remember she calmed me down by saying that the cyst is only as large as one bungkus of nasi lemak. HAHAHAAHAHA. I told my parents while trying to sound calm and relax about the news. My mother did her thorough research about the disease and listed down the food that I should eat and what I should not eat. Most of my close girl friends knew about my condition and some watch what I ate like a hawk and nagged me more than my mother. Thank you girls, I do appreciate it (kinda misses it though). Chicken and any type of fast food are what I need to stay away from. The information about what food that I should avoid was not from my doctor but it was from the internet (the opinions of the ex patients of the disease, click here to read morehttps://majalahpama.my/kena-cyst-berulang-kali-wanita-ini-kongsikan-5-makanan-ini-patut-dielakkan/ ). Sayonara Mc Donald’s Spicy Chicken.

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The kinda rounded stuff is the cyst.

Okai back to the most dreadful thing the- surgery!! It would be my first ever. It was scheduled on 28 April 2017. Alhamdullilah it was after my first ever project as a director ends. The project will be on 18, 19 and 20 April 2017. A little bit about the project, it was called Geoscience Industrial Week 2017. We will be inviting local and international university and school students to our Geology Department for three days where we will be having competitions, exhibitions and talks. Sounds challenging right. As the director, the issue about whether we will be having enough money or not kept playing in my mind. To handle the big amount of crews consisting of my batch mate and my first year juniors was not easy but they are the main force that runs the project. Not to forget my second year was rather packed even during the holidays as we were having field works every semester breaks and I am a secretary for a big project back in my residential college as well. Therefore, I barely have the time to entertain my fear for the surgery.

 

Fast forward two months later, the project ended and Alhamdulillah it went well. A week before the project we work till 2 to 3 am in the morning and still going for classes the next day. We were like zombies. I admitted into the hospital on 26 April 2017, a few days earlier because I had to do blood transfusion because my Hb was too low to undergo operation. I wouldn’t have known that I am having anaemia if it wasn’t for the disease. I took 2 pints of blood, not knowing who the donor is but may Allah give you the greatest reward in the world and hereafter, Amin. My parents came from Malacca and stayed in my aunt’s house in KL. Some of my friends visited me, bringing  lots of food (I missed this the most, Lol). I was lying in bed, treated like a Queen, a much needed rest after hectic weeks of handling the project and living life as a student.

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The moment my blood mixed with others, wuhuuu

The day of the surgery arrived but I woke up in the morning with a sore throat and a bad fever. My anaesthetic doctor (who I swear looks like Rain the korean singer) said that the operation had to be postpone as I can’t be anaesthetized (if this word does exist) because of the flu. It might be because of the blood transfusion or the girl at the bed in front of me was coughing for the past few days. Allah is indeed the Greatest Planner. The surgery was postponed on 8 May 2017. Actually the day of the original operation was The Day for my other project back in my residential college. I was discharged and straight away went back to my college and joined the other crews, handling the project. Everyone was shocked as I was not supposed to be there.

I went back to the hospital on 7 May 2017 to get ready for my operation on the next day. The fear of the surgery came back. It was around 10 am on 8 May, where my surgery happened. My parents look so scared and I tried to hide my fear and smile instead, to show them that I am fine. The operation room was so cold and I am glad that I am going to be unconscious. My new anaesthetic doctor (no more Doctor Rain, sadly) inject the anaesthetic liquid to knock me down and I slowly dozed off. They were doing laparascopic cystectomy on me (making 2 holes for the instrument to peel the cyst form my left ovary and sucked it all out and another hole for the camera). I woke up 2 hours later, feeling weak, heavy and cold. The first question I asked to the doctor was, “Do I still have my left ovary?” . She said…..

To be continued. Like a drama right. Stay tuned for the next blog post as this one already reached 1200 words. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

 

 

 

 

I AM NOT THAT “SMART”

 

In the name of Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful

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Assalamualaikum and Hi everyone! Hope that you are in good health and highly spirited to improve and be better in the year 2019. This is my first blog post for this year and sorry for the long wait, last December was the most hectic month. I unofficially finished my 3 and a half years of degree life. Phewww … Alhamdulillah! It was not easy but Allah made it easy. So yup the tittle, I am not that “smart”. Well the word “smart” here I defined it as scoring freaking high CGPA of 3.9 to 4.0. Mine currently is 3.70, just at the edge of graduating with a First Class Degree. So do pray for me and my friends so that our last examination results are good enough. Thank you in advance:).

Let me describe myself as a student. I am an active student-love to be active, as I cannot sit still doing nothing. For me time is too precious to just let it passed by without gaining something. I worked part-time while completing my thesis and during my last semester with 6 examination papers. While juggling with competitions, conferences, extra classes, organizing events, involved in organizations and more. I often slept in class-unintentionally-tried various ways including buying a bag of raisins to be eaten in class and recording lectures (never heard them back after class….too busy) as I felt that everything that were taught in class are the most important lessons. I can be wide awake in some classes but the ones at 12 to 1 pm were the hardest. I barely had time to study unlike my other friends but Alhamdulillah understanding the lessons were easy and since I am not pro in memorizing (I don’t even remember my dad’s birthday, that’s how bad my memory is), I decided to just really understand and trying to make sense everything even if it’s just a bunch of formulas.

So today I am going to share 3 of my beliefs in order to excel as a student and also to gain the blessing (keberkatan) in learning.

1. Always Have The Right Intention

As  muslims we were taught to do everything for the sake of Allah or Lillahi Taala. We will be rewarded with pahala for everything that we deed for the sake of Allah. So do for studying. And do it for your parents back at home. Who constantly prayed for you day and night. I am the type of student that took classes that I am interested to learn no matter how hard to get an A for it and even if none of my other friends took the subject. For me I can always gain new friends in the class. I took Karst subject(learning about limestone landscape) and I’ve got a C+ and so did my other friends because to actually score in that subject under the particular lecturer is the hardest but learning Karst with her was the best. We even went to Langkawi Island for our fieldwork!! Next is to always have the right intention to help your friends who struggled with their studies. I always thought that Allah help me to easily understand my studies because I probably can and did not mind to teach my friends. It’s like an agreement you made with God that if He can make you understand your studies, you should in return help others. I have noticed that when I started explaining something to my friends, I began to understand the topic even better with a new perspective.

2. Respect the Knowledge Giver

I intentionally use the term knowledge giver instead of lecturer because knowledge can be gain everywhere, anytime from anyone. Sadly throughout time the respect given towards them decreases. Probably because when we did not get what we want aka good results we started to “criticize” them. Talking bad about lecturers and some even imitating the way they talked. Long gone the school tradition of greeting your teachers and giving the respect that they deserved. The university style which kinda less strict with rules compared to when we were back at school and the fact that students now can “rate” the lecturers at the end of the semester, might be one of the reasons. Students can come late or even not going to class at all because the attendance had been taken care of by their friends. So who am I to judge let Allah be the Judge. My advice is try your best to come earlier than the lecturer, give your full attention (try not to sleep like me), stay away from conversation that leads to “criticizing” your lecturer and  have good assumptions towards them(maybe the low score is a form of tough love and maybe we do not give our best yet). The past scholars learn adab ( courteousness) for 20 years before they actually learn from their teacher. Some turn the pages of their book so slowly in order not to disturbed their teacher in class, Masha Allah. To have adab helps to understand knowledge even better, Insya allah. Do read this nice articles (https://www.dawn.com/news/1136834) and (https://muslim.or.id/21107-pelajarilah-dahulu-adab-dan-akhlak.html)

3. Respect Knowledge

Knowledge often did not last long. For some it vanishes from the mind after the examination ends. It goes back to point 1. Have the right intention of studying and not just for examination purpose. The notes that we cared so much minutes before examination started, treat it the same way after the examination finishes. Yes you can dispose it but do it the right way. I do not like it if I saw someone is putting books or notes on the ground where someone can easily step on it. It is not a good thing to do in my opinion. Even bringing them into the toilet, for me, should be avoidable if possible. I know some throw their notes in the air after the exam finished and capture slow motion videos, but for me it is a big No. I am not judging those who did, it’s up to you but for me again it is a big NO.

I am just a normal human being. I am not a perfect student. I admit that I did not completely obey everything that I have stated above. But these 3 are my beliefs in order to gain the blessings in learning. More tips over here (https://tzkrh.com/7-tips-mendapatkan-keberkatan-ilmu/) and please, please, please watch this video by Ustaz Nouman about the attitude of Prophet Musa as a student from Surah Al-Kahfi (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nqjtJzon50&index=17&list=PLutdSTmJ7bAI7_C4iDzJWpHhGlnqHUI_f). All in all, may the knowledge that we gain make us closer to Allah SWT and benefited others and not just ourselves. Trust me people, I am not that “smart”, but Allah made me enjoy all the years of me as a student, Allah made it easy and meaningful too, Alhamdulillah. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

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The doa that I used to recite before class. Learned this from a friend back in PASUM.

Adulting?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

“In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”.

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Internship memories!!!

Assalamualaikum and hi! My last post was on 23rd September. Pheww, my last semester in UM is indeed the busiest ever. Just sharing, I am currently listening Baraka Allahu Lakuma by Maher Zain (the Live and Acoustic version, do check it out! The violin player is amazing!!!). This song is about celebrating a newlywed couple and indeed getting married is a part of the Adulting process right? But I won’t be writing about marriage (until I am actually getting married insya allah!) instead I am gonna share with you about my internship and renting in a house full of strangers-turn-friends experience! Some valuable lessons that I’ve managed to collect along the way and hope it will benefit you as it benefited me. So let’s start!

My internship was kinda short as it lasted for only 2 months and 1 week. Nevertheless, Ahamdulillah, I gain a lot technically and non-technically. But the most valuable thing is the People!! Yup, I made a promise to write about my happening intern mates. To name a few Dave, Laila, Yan Ying, Khang Wei, Danial, Bryan, Hafiz, Zack, Derek, Chi Keen and there’s more of course that I’ve met during site visits, safety induction, but these guys are the special ones. Having lunch at mamak stalls, watching movies, riding the sardinized LRT and many more sweet memories. Not to forget my Geology Seniors, Kak Aina, Qayyum, Adam, Sitresh and Mr Deva. I felt so well taken care of :). My desk mate, Kak Farah (those lunch time suggesting K-Drama with Kak Aina, hahahah) , Kak Lyn, the most vibrant staff, we always shared cat or politic stories. Ram, the most friendly Indian Guy that I’ve ever met, the always smiling guard that never forget to wish us (I forgot his name) and Kak Ani, who make tea better than me. Roughly 2 months had passed but I can still imagine myself walking in the office and sitting at my desk accompanied by the rocks, hmm.

Internship is like a peek into the real working world. What I’ve learned is that learning does not stop at University and we should always be an eager student in class mode at all time. Be humble and accept knowledge from everyone, be it from the CEO or from the Bangladeshi worker at site. Admit that we know nothing and make sure to return back with something. Alhamdulillah, I gain new knowledge about civil engineering, and a little bit about air-conditioner and the fire system from my electrical and mechanical engineering friends. Qayyum, my buddy was just so amazing due to the fact that he had to learn on his own about new software and make used of it in solving problems in a short period of time and yet he was so humble.

Secondly, I’ve learned that no matter if you are working in a big or a small company, trust Allah’s planned, he placed you right where you should be. I was kinda skeptical about my intern place at first as it act as a main contractor and I jumped into conclusion immediately that the geologist at this company will only focused on management aspect. But I was wrong, they did management too and a lot more interesting stuff. I personally disliked being involved in just one job and just focusing in that. At my intern place, I get the chance to learn various geology aspects and dealing with challenging software and playing with various data to achieve one goal. Indeed not a bland job and it suits me. I’ve also realized that the so called boring management aspect is important and it is the core of everything.

While doing my internship, I’ve stayed in an apartment around UM, together with 8 strangers who now turn into friends. Of course there were dramas, well even husband and wife fight while living together. For me it was a small miscommunication that lead to kinda tense situation. It challenged me the most yet many valuable lessons that I gained from it. Third lesson learnt, is to be patient because Allah loves those who are patient. The result of being patient is shockingly a message asking for forgiveness a few days a go. Strange timing but maybe Allah wants me to include it in this writing. We are in good terms now, Alhamdulillah.

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Lastly, is to always be kind even if you look bad while doing it. People will judge your action, but Allah knows better. Be kind as the world is in need of kindness. The most important is to be kind to people that hurts you. That is a true challenge to test your kindness level. Being kind including being patient, to have good thoughts and many more.

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I am already missing Ain, Ima, Nora with our late night move session at the living room. Kak Huda’s pumpkin porridge and her sisterly vibe. The nice conversation and memories with Kak Aimi, Ecah, Farah and Fiza. They taught me something while staying with them and it improves me to be a much better person.

I am not saying that I already am the kindest, the most patient person in the world and I am sure you guys are much better than me. I hope that I am improving throughout the process of being an adult. For me in life we need to keep asking these questions: Am I a good friend? a good daughter/son? a good sister/brother? a good student? a good cousin? a good neighbour? and most importantly am I a good servant to Allah SWT? And while doing that keep being humble, keep learning and trust Allah’s plan for you because He specifically designed the path of your life for good reasons. And one last advice while adulting do not let you inner kid to be left behind because then being a grown up won’t be that fun anymore. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

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No decent picture with all my housemates, therefore the nice view captured at home when I returned from the office was spirit-lifting!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHY GEOLOGY?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

“In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”.

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On top of the world!!

Assalamualaikum and hi! It’s been so long since my last post. My last semester in UM had just started and truthfully I am not ready yet to be out there “Adulting” although internship life gave me a little glimpse of a working world. Insya allah I will share more about my internship life in another post but first let me introduce you to the beauty of Geology.

Before I proceed, let me share about my complicated educational background and my long lists of ambition. I was schooled at a Methodist all girl school in Melaka during my primary school years. Alhamdulillah, with a quite good UPKK (examination for religious school) result, I registered to pursue my study at an all arabic secondary school and it is a boarding school. Guess what? I left the school after 5 days since I can’t stand to be a way from my family. I then continued my study instead at a secondary Methodist all girl school. Throughout my secondary school life, my ambitions change quite a number of times. A baker, fashion designer, writer, forensic officer, tv host for food review and finally an archeologist. This wide variety of future career very much affected from watching television at home. This is a proof that I simply do not wake up one day and decided that geology is the one.

It started on one fine day, my math teacher gave a suggestion of instead of archeology, why not geology?Indeed geology is a good work prospect in Malaysia and archeology in Malaysia is not as exciting as the one in Egypt in my opinion. From that day onwards, geology is the only future career that I was aiming. Nevertheless, my dream to be like Indiana Jones excavating hidden tombs underneath Egypt is still there. I continued my education in Physical Science at PASUM (a foundation centre in UM) and Alhamdulillah I pursue a degree in geology at UM.

What is so interesting about geology? Do I love rock that much? Stay tuned and keep reading.

  1. Because geology is unique and different just like me, hahaaha.

I am interested at a variety of uncommon things unlike any other people. P Ramlee songs, vespa, baby goat, tree house, big old trees, old houses and the list goes on and on. Geology is a perfect match as what we did is not common either. It is unique and different as not many people knew about it unlike other career such as doctor and engineers. Throughout my life as a Geology student at University of Malaya, I’ve experienced rather unique and unforgettable moments. To share a few, fall next to a sleeping snake at Mersing, Johor, riding a ghost lorry crossing a river with the help of tree trunks in a gold mine deep in the jungle, climbing steep and high slope in a windy day at Perlis, honked by cars at Terengganu while looking at rocks by the road side, attacked by leeches and crazy dogs while climbing steep limestone hill, and many more interesting ones. How many university students have such experiences? Geology on its own is one of a kind career. One minute you could be at the office and then spend the rest of your days in a jungle. Geology is a mixture of many science field and engineering too and you can go to many industries such as oil and gas, mining and construction making it a very versatile one.

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Working at the beach of Mersing, Johor from morning till evening. Some even pray at site.
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Forever team mates!! We walked for many kilometres somewhere in Kemaman Terengganu. We even stopped and bought satar and kerepok lekor.
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Make use of window sunshade. Besides working with rocks we deal with machines too.
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Cutting rock until it is as thin as onion skin or even thinner.

2. I prefer working with nature

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I would love to work under the blue sky. That was my answer when I was asked in an interview session about why geology. I personally did not like to be stuck in a closed space for a very long time. Even my mind wanders easily and do not stay still. Working in an outdoor environment allows me to see and observe many things since I am a curious one. My final year project was about Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan and lucky enough my outcrop(the rock that I am interested to be studied) is by a waterfall so while waiting for my geophysics survey, my friends and I lie on the rocks and enjoy the cool water and soaked our feet (attracting leeches). For me the most beautiful geological treasure that I’ve seen so far is Kilim Geopark at Langkawi Island. The whitish black limestone rock standing majestically surrounded by turqoise color sea water. Indeed nature and geology are inseparable and travelling anywhere in the world as a geologist makes me appreciate the nature even more.

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The layering of the limestone at Kilim Geopark.

3.Interesting knowledge to share with friends and strangers

Do you know that Malaysia snowed in the past? Thousand of years ago, we can actually go to Sabah and Sarawak by foot as the sea level was so low? At one time there was a sea separating the eastern part and the western part of Malaysia. Mount Everest is actually still increases in height. Do you know that Mars used to have flowing water? And many other facts not just about planet earth but it encompasses knowledge about the world too. I personally found it very interesting to discover about the geology of other planets as well, thus working with NASA is one of my goals. Since I was young, I was attracted to know about the wonders of the world and my school library and tv shows like National Geographic allowed my mind to travel back into the past or to any unsung places in the world. While learning geology, I will be the same excited girl in her school library flipping through old dusty books. My roommate for 2 years already being shown to Geological Map of Malaysia and she would hear me chattering about where we can find gold or oil in Malaysia. Just leave me with a stranger I believe I can impress them with geology facts if they are willing to learn of course.

4. As a remembrance towards Allah

Observing the vastness of the mountains and the sea. The minute details of a rock under the microscope. How the nature from the past reacted and gave the present geology. He enriched the earth with various mineral resources so that we can live comfortably. The geological disaster that happened in the past recorded in the Quran for example the one about people of Lut. Here I found one good reading material about the eruption of Mount Vesuvius that destroyed Pompeii (https://sunnahonline.com/library/purification-of-the-soul/212-fate-of-pompeii-the)  due to the people of Pompeii that involved in sexual perversity.

Next, the earth is composed of moving tectonic plates due to magma that underlie the earth crust. In Surah Al-Naml verse 88, Allah stated so. This knowledge came to prophet Muhammad SAW and only then proposed by Alfred Wegener with his Continental Drift theory in the 20th century. Do watch the video for better explanation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sarl0ZornbY).

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Another magnificent connection is a verse about how mountains have been made as stakes by Allah, Surah An-Naba, verse 7. Mountains are like iceberg that have the majority of its volume beneath the Earth which act as the roots. Click this link to learn more https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBZh-t6Ss5Y or this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er7GffAmN3c. If you ever heard of the big flood about Prophet Nuh or Noah, I do believe that such event do leave a mark in the geological history and imagine if a research can prove it. Hope I can be that researcher.

My friend once told me that even my name, Intan is very geology like as it means diamond in malay language. Geology insya allah will always be my favourite field of study. Some said I am passionate in geology but the truth is I am passionate in many other things besides geology. I believe that what ever we are doing in life: breathing, eating, studying, do it wholeheartedly. Do it for the sake of Allah. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.

Love,Like or Lust?

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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Me trying hard to make a love sign despite the fast moving bot.

Assalamualaikum, before I was writing this 2 sad news came. I lost my phone as it broke and can never be used again and a more devastating news as my housemate whom I am very close with just lose her brother. Who I am to cry and be sad when a phone can be replaced but one soul can’t.

Okai back to our topic Love,Like or Lust? I am actually kind of scared to give my opinion or advice in this matter as I believe that we will be tested on what we say.

Truthfully I am supposed to be doing my report for my internship but I just can’t do it unless I finished writing this blog post. This matter had been playing in my mind since I met “her”. Her love stories are much more “interesting” rather than the ones shown on TV 3 at 7.00 pm every weekdays. It is not my place here to tell from A to Z but I would like to share what we can learn from this.

What is Love? Some said love is blind, some said they could die for the sake of love. As for me love is Allah. Because there is no love that is greater than His love and He owns all the love in the World. Have we ever wonder why among the 99 names of Allah Ar-Rahman (The Most Gracious) and Ar-Rahim (The Most Merciful) is being used in Bismillahirarhmanirahim that we recite so many times in a day. It is because Allah’s Mercy is greater than His Wrath. Allah’s Mercy shows how immense His Love is. Allah is Al-Wadud, The One that unconditionally loves, the one who’s love cannot be matched by anyone or anything.

۞ قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”

And many more proof of Allah’s love if we flip through the Quran. And this video might help https://youtu.be/JrzrCb8DsrU.

Therefore, if I am to love someone let it be because of Allah. Loving my family, my friends, and insya allah my future spouse too. For me loving someone for the sake of Allah is when choose to love a particular person that brings you even closer to Allah than you already are. Sounds complicated? I found this on Instagram that summarizes my point.

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What is Like? As for me there is no love at first sight but there is like at first sight. I quote this from a friend of mine actually. You either like his/her presence, attitude, face, quirky-ness, akhlaq, and many more reasons that I am sure you can lists them. It usually comes first before we actually love that person.

In conclusion, it is not wrong to love or like someone but how we actually manage those feelings so that we do not lose Allah’s Love. If we fail to manage those feelings then Lust becomes the King. That is why it is really important for us to take care of ikthilat. Ikthilat is the intermingling of the sexes. Sadly nowadays we do not even care or realized its importance. I personally thought that it is easy to actually manage how to deal with the opposite sex until I started my internship life. I studied in an only girl school during primary and secondary years. During my university years, alhamdulillah majority of my friends are female friends but here in my office majority of my friends are guys since I am working in a man’s field. If you knew how talkative and friendly I am, trust me to take care for ikhthilat is one of the hardest things to do.

I see the importance of to care for ihktilat after I watched this video by Ustaz Adnin Roslan (https://youtu.be/yeTKaus7QIU), its the story at the end of the video that scares me so much. It is about a guy and a woman whom are already engaged and ended up having sex accidentally while visiting their future house. They were so scared after it ended and somehow involved in a car accident on the way back home and the guy died. The woman on the other hand hospitalized and woke up being a pregnant. Both are from a religious education background.

Back to the stories from someone that I knew, she is someone who perform dhuha, going to the mosque, perform tahajjud but when the desire can’t be controlled or when the Iman is weak, holding hands, going out for a date, happened. She told me that she regretted doing it every single time and seek repentance but then the desire can’t be controlled, she did it again. Some might say hmm just holding hands, hmm just texting unnecessary things only, relax! But hey, small things can lead to bigger things. It is best to avoid the small things so that we don’t have to encounter the big things. Her relationship ended and she told me to learn from her mistakes so that I wont repeat it.

I know it is not easy to control ourselves. Liking or loving someone is a nice feeling. Your heart feels like a melted butter on a warm fire (or maybe I am the only one who feels that, haha). That is why Korean dramas sells like pisang goreng panas. Those lovey dovey scenes hmmm. But remember it is not long lasting and I am referring to till Jannah if we do not do it the right way. Imagine if we do not take care of ikthilat before we get married, i believe it is not impossible for anyone to be involved in cheating cases with the office mate or any men or women out there. So practice to take care of ikthilat now!! I am worse at it too but keep trying, okai? Allah cares for our effort.

Remember do not love anything including ourselves more than our Love for Allah. Why? Because His love for us is too many to be counted, to be repaid, and to even realized. We were late at performing Solah, but Allah never late at giving what we want at the right time. Unlike humans who wont forget our mistakes, Allah forgives our mistakes once we repented sincerely. Allah always give chances for us to become a better human being by giving us a chance to live another day. Allah made us Nabi Muhammad’s Ummah that have many benefits compared to the ones who lived before the Prophet SAW came. Allah always gives us trials so that we can grow and be a better human being. I am not capable in listing all evidences of Allah’s love because it is too many!!

Therefore, before making sins, think. Do we want to be ungrateful despite all the Love that Allah has given us? Do we still yearn for humans love more than the Creator’s love? Love everyone for the sake of Allah. Like everyone for the sake Allah. Control Lust for the sake of Allah.

When reading this please do not think that I am the best at taking care of ikhtilat, since I am posting anti-couple post and everything. I am not a good person but I am trying to be better and I do not want to do it alone. For those that are deeply in love and involved in such relationship and finding it is hard to do it the right way. Seek solutions, pray to Allah for protection and if it is still hard go and find Tok Kadi. For those who are still waiting, don’t just wait, improve yourselves and may He/She who is also improving meet you at the right moment. And I am asking for your help that if one day I am being tested and ended up in a forbidden relationship please guide me. I am a human too. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah, Jazakallahukhair.

 

 

 

 

 

The Right Path

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

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Assalamualaikum everyone! Its Zulhijjah Month! The first ten days of this month should be used wisely to increase our Iman, insya allah. For those who miss Ramadhan do make the most of these ten days.

The topic that I would like to share with you today has been playing around my mind since a few months ago. It’s about Surah Al- Fatihah. The only Surah that is made compulsory to be recited in our Solah. I was asking myself why surah Al-Fatihah out of  114  Surahs in the book of Allah, Al-Quran. Around the same time I went for a talk regarding The Threat of Atheisme in The Muslims in Malaysia by one of the Ustaz in UM. Therefore I will talk about the connections in my point of view about Surah Al-Fatihah and Atheisme.

From the talk, I learn that Atheisme came from a Yunani word Atheos which means No God. Its different from Agnotist  which are those who are in doubt about the existence of God while Atheist which are those who totally believe that God do not exist. Ateisme spread through communism, the Evolution Theory, the Big Bang Theory and even through minute propaganda that are spreading through the current trend in social media. There is an association called Atheist Republic that aims the Malays which are Muslims to be an atheist. And some had been fooled by their propaganda. What a sad truth about the world that we are living in.

Shockingly even the ones with a PHD qualification, the ones with knowledge disbelieve in Allah’s existence. When logic and science is used to explain every single thing that happens in the world. Smart people in my opinion are those who believe that they do not know everything in the world. How can we explain about the magnificent knowledge in the Quran that were proven thousand of years later by Science? Example is the human reproduction system. Do read the article as the writer wrote a good one (https://www.al-islam.org/articles/human-reproduction-quran-raeid-jewad.). This ayah actually described the reproduction system precisely and this knowledge came thousand of years ago.

Al Quran 23:14

Then We made the sperm-drop into a clinging clot, and We made the clot into a lump [of flesh], and We made [from] the lump, bones, and We covered the bones with flesh; then We developed him into another creation. So blessed is Allah, the best of creators.

 

Now let’s talk about Surah Al-Fatihah. I found this really good tadabbur of Surah Al-Fatihah by Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan. Before you continue reading, please watch and learn from this video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_8I6BZQED7E).

To summarize from what I understand is that the seven ayahs are divided into three parts if we observed its meaning closely. The first three are about Allah, the middle part is about Allah and us and the last three is about us. And if we look it at another angle the early part is about the knowledge about Allah, the middle part is about action that we must take and the last part is the combination of knowledge and action. And in Al-Fatihah we can see the pairing between emotion and knowledge and mercy and justice of Allah. To understand more, do watch the video. Ustaz Nouman explains it better.

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
The Beneficent, the Merciful.
Master of the Day of Judgment.
Thee do we serve and Thee do we beseech for help.
Keep us on the right path.
The path of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed favors. Not (the path) of those upon whom Thy wrath is brought down, nor of those who go astray.

How can we relate Surah Al-Fatihah and Atheism. For me its the fact that Surah Al-Fatihah is like a dua made at every rakaat in our solah so that we are guided in the right path. The right path not from our perspective but from Allah’s perspective. When we recite Al-Fatihah we should have the desire to be guided by Allah, to feel the need to be at the right path always. Imagine if someone with a high education qualification or people with religious background even do not believe in the existence of Allah. Indeed Iman cannot be inherited. Sadly that’s the truth. Guidance from Allah are needed not just from atheism but from any sins even the small ones. And we certainly need guidance in making life choices.

So from now when we recite Al-Fatihah lets recite it in a more meaningful way rather than just a surah that we read in every rakaat and become to familiar with it and ignore its importance. Many things that can be learn from the Quran and I would suggest the videos on Quran Weekly You Tube channel by Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan and you will see how Allah’s word are arranged beautifully. Thank you for reading may it benefited you and me. Till next time. Keep reading, keep spreading da’wah, keep helping the ummah. Jazakallahukhair.